Hey friends,
Apologies for the spottiness on posts in the last months. Life is crazy and this personal blog hasn’t exactly been a top priority.
Over the next few posts I will be writing about how I came to be a pacifist. For whatever reason, this area of my life has come up in alot of conversations recently and I get the feeling that I’ve misrepresented myself or haven’t really offered a sufficient explanation as to what I mean when I say that I am a pacifist or why. For the sake of clarity, let me begin with my personal definition. For me, being a pacifist means that I believe it would be wrong for me to kill another human being or go to war.
As far back as I can remember, I’ve hated conflict. I’m a younger brother, so I know what a fight is like. I have to say that life as a young child wasn’t easy for me. My older brother tried to kill me on multiple occasions while I was in the crib and really didn’t relent his attacks on me until almost the time he was legally allowed to drive. Some of my earliest memories are of him hitting me or poking me and me turning my back because I really didn’t like to fight. As much as I wanted him to stop, I hated fighting him back and I learned early that revenge never brought satisfaction. The times when I did fight and drew his blood never left me feeling smug and content. How could I be happy about that?
From the perspective that my early childhood shaped who I am today, it makes sense that I would not become a man who took pleasure in being violent. Maybe it helped that I learned early that retaliation never got me what I wanted. BUT there still seems to be a big gap (for most people) between not liking to fight your older brother and opposing war categorically. I agree, there is a big gap….that is why there will be more posts about this subject.
So there is contributing influence #1 of how I became a pacifist. My brother beat me. In case you were wondering, we have long since put our days of violence toward each other behind us. He is forgiven and I hope that he has forgiven me for the times that I fought back. Scott is one of my biggest cheerleaders and I am proud to have an older brother like him. Enemies can become friends.
More to come.
Grace and peace,
CWillz

