An important part of how I have landed on being a pacifist involves my struggle with my identity and my country. Let me explain.

In the summer of 2007, I had an experience that continues to challenge me.  As a summer missionary, I spent close to four months crossing the Southern border of the United States while living principally in a small community on the outskirts of Juarez, Mexico.  As one can imagine, an extended amount of time in this infamous city would be nothing short of an education for a kid who was born and raised in the 11th safest city in these United States.

That summer, a line on a map and a fence guarded by guns served as reminders of the two worlds which I inhabited seemingly simultaneously.  6 days a week I slept on the dusty concrete floor of a church in the desert. 1 night a week I slept in an air conditioned room in the El Paso Econolodge.  6 days a week water was scarce, contaminated, and delivered by trucks. 1 day a week, water was taken for granted, showers were abundant, and wouldn’t make me sick.  6 days a week I prayed with my new friends for “daily bread”. 1 day a week the churches thanked God for His blessings.   One side of the fence afforded grass and football stadiums while the other had a concrete soccer slab with no nets.

The border, for the first time, became not solely a symbol of protection but much less. It was reduced to a hassle.  Going one way, I had to be sure to be carrying less than a certain amount of new merchandise per person in order to avoid taxes.  Going the other, I needed a passport, no plants, a consistent story, and sometimes a good deal of patience (they once X-rayed the entire bus!).   As I met more and more friends, my conception of what it meant to live on the border changed.  No one wanted to give up a life with their family, abandon their spouses, get a free pass, or even to cross the border if they could avoid it.  The majority of the people I met simply wanted to be able to earn a living wage, to be able to share life meaningfully with the people they cared about, and to leave your family better off than how you found it.  They knew the same thing I knew — the likelihood of accomplishing that goal was very diminished greatly because of the side of the fence they were born on.  From this I learned sympathy, but that barely begins to describe what I learned.

In our first week at our ministry site, we were invited to the home of a family in the community for a cookout.  It was here that I got my first taste of authentic Mexican cooking and hospitality alike. We enjoyed getting to know them.  I was fed a steak. So were my three other team members.  The family did not eat steak.  They simply wanted to give us the best they had and didn’t want to be noticed for it.  It would be weeks before I realized the sacrifice that family made to feed me well. They had been out of work for a while and medical problems jeopardized their future.  They had given without expectation. These people are the salt of the Earth, so why do they not get running water like I have?

I then met more and more of the community and church members.  We shared in the things of the Lord.  Pastor spoke of the calling the Lord has placed on his life and how the Lord had provided for close to 20 years every single need that his family and the church and Christian school had needed.  Several time during that summer we would pray for a specific need to be met, and it would be just in time.  One time, Pastor needed to drive into the city for a meeting and had no gas.  That morning a team member handed him a letter from her family in Puerto Rico with the exact amount for the trip. This was common.  It was as if I was watching the bush burn in front of my eyes and not be consumed.  I began to grasp the power of faith the size of mustard seed, even in the arid arrangements in which we lived.

This began the unraveling of my identity as an American Christian.  Granted, I am today still an American and also still a Christian.  But I must say that I find much more of my identity of in Christ than in being an American.  I’m not against America, but I consider myself a citizen of this nation by happenstance rather than choice.  It was then when I first began to be able to separate national progress, prosperity, and defense from the true call of God on my life.  I have one true, eternal, political allegiance and it is to the King who now rules and will one day rule entirely and before our own eyes.  Our kingdoms, constitutions, and policies will one day come to an end either in the course of human events or in that twinkling of an eye, so I do not consider it foolish to be a man who attempts at giving my allegiance to Christ the King and to make my primary interest in life to teach other about his Kingdom of grace and truth.

Christ holds my allegiance. Dismantling my identity and security as a citizen of the United Stated was simply another step in my path towards pacifism.  It is not so much the disgust at some of the specific injustices of US domestic and foreign policy and history that lead me to this point (although admittedly they DO exist).  It is the greater truth and beauty that Christ is already Lord of all and that his first and greatest command to love must take precedence.  My spiritual reorientation to Christ will have to be another post.

Grace and peace,

Cwillz

Part of Boyd’s take, fully available here:

* Perhaps the most famous verse in the Bible is John 3:16 which tells us “God so loved the world he gave his only Son…” This inspires the commentators of the Patriot’s Bible to quote Colin Powell on how “the United States has sent many of its fine young men and women into great peril to fight for freedom beyond our borders.”

Really? Really?? With all due respect to the bravery of American soldiers, are you really suggesting that in sending soldiers to war, the United States is acting like God did when he sent his Son? Would you be willing to grant this parallel for every nation that has sacrificed young men and women in war, or is it just the United States that is God-like in doing this? Don’t Russians and Iranians love their children too? And aren’t we tip toeing dangerously close to blasphemy when we compare our nations military with the sacrificial love of God? Just wondering.

* Jesus statement that “if the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed” (Jn. 8:36) inspires a page long commentary on the Bill of Rights, with an ominous emphasis on how the “wall of separation” between church and state today is threatening freedom of religion.

Really? Doesn’t the wall separating church and state protect the freedom of religion? But more importantly, are we to actually believe the freedom Jesus was talking about had anything whatsoever to do with political rights? Why didn’t he say so, since his audience happened to have zero political rights. He could have inspired a violent political revolution, similar to the American Revolution, if he’d connected his freedom with political freedom.

Wait a minute: this is exactly what many in his audience wanted and expected Jesus to do. How did Jesus respond? He rebuked them, telling them instead to love and do good their enemies. It’s kind of what got him crucified. His “freedom,” like his Kingdom, apparently is “not of this world.” Nevertheless, the Patriot’s Bible succeeds in accomplishing what Jesus’ audience could not. Jesus becomes the champion of political freedom after all! Patriot’s Bible — 1. Jesus — 0.

Thank you, Greg for posting this.  I hope that all of us will see that our first and only real allegieance must be to Jesus Christ, who is Lord of all.

May the Lord’s will be done,

CWillZ

Mom and I next to my VW Vanagon Syncro

Before leaving my friends, family, students, and church in Columbus, I purchased a VW Vanagon Syncro.  My mom accompanied me on the trip across country.  We were in the middle of the third full day of driving when my mom made the first special request to stop for anything the entire trip.  We got off the interstate in rural eastern Montana and found a restaurant/bar where she could use the restroom.  From the looks of things I thought there may have been 500 people in the town.

We pulled out of the parking lot to get back on the intestate and the engine cut out.  We happened to be at the top of a long hill, and there was hope for a gas station at the bottom so we coasted down hill and barely pulled into the local gas station.  I did some tinkering and concluded that the problem was my fuel pump.

My Syncro with its family members in Worden, MT

A local offered to give me a ride to the mechanic in the town.  When we arrived I was told that the mechanic would not be available until late that afternoon.  Drat.  Plan B was the mechanic at the gas station in the neighboring town (which was about a half mile away across the highway).  After about 20 minutes of phone calls and talking, one of the townspeople remembered that there was a guy in town that only worked on Volkswagens.  Really??

Randy of Randy's Bugworks

So we called him and got directions.  He ended up having the exact part I needed.  What were the odds? As we pulled up, we could see the sea of VWs this guy had.  I thought I was in VW heaven.  This is the man who lives the dream, Randy of Randy’s Bugworks:

I am getting settled out here but am really missing everyone back home. Especially my students.  I love you guys. Please keep praying for me as I start something new. I’ll be sure to keep in touch as this adventure called life continues to unfold.

May the Lord’s will be done,

CWillZ

The full versions are available(web stream or MP3 download) on the Speaking of Faith site and on iTunes for free.

A few of my thoughts:

1) I want to be like all 3 of these men when I grow up.  Each has been very faithful with what God has given them.

2) I felt a little bad for Chuck Colson because I think he didn’t get a chance to speak as much.  Maybe that isn’t true, but I really wanted him to say more.

3) Notice there are honest and somewhat should-be abrupt disagreements between these men (the most obvious being Shane’s blatant anti-military stance), but it is clear  that these guys are on the same team.  Hopefully the core group of people that follow each of them agree on that.

4) Greg’s story about mixing nationalism and faith really hits home with me.  It bothers me deeply that many Christians I know’s view of Christ is inseperably entangled in Americana.  See this post.

5) Where are the women? Momma T!

6)Where are the minorities? Discussion about Dr.King does happen quite a bit in the session, which is a starting point for the necessary inclusion of minority voices.

7) Colson is a tough old man and I love his fatherly tone when he suggests that others need to have the courage “take a political stance” and go from there.

8) There seems to be a big tension between Augustinian thought and Jesus thought, or at least the expressions from those who emphasize one over the other.

Which one of these men would you vote for if all three were running for president?

May the Lord’s will be done,

CWillZ

This past election, our votes canceled each other’s out.  He might not see why I don’t think fiscal de-regulation is a great idea and why the appalling stance of many the Democratic party are enough to make me vote towards the right.  I might not see why he doesn’t see that the free market has never really been free and consistently is controlled by people who take advantage of well-intentioned people and that the policies of the far right have most likely been an indirect cause of abortion and poverty, unproductive violence, and diminished quality of life for many.  Either way, we both have our points, and respectfully allow each other to continue find truth somewhere between, under, or beyond the arguments.  I even listen to Rush with him sometimes.  At the end of the day, our thoughts about government matter little because it is the Church’s task to declare and live out righteous and just living.  With us?

Sunday at lunch dad told me that he thought I really should read Ted Nugent’s “Ted, White, and Blue: The Nugent Manifesto.“  I had picked it up for a few minutes in a book store a few months ago and made a snap decision after about 5 pages or so that I thought it would have little productive to say.  Anyway, I like be challenged and enjoy challenging others, and really do appreciate my father’s wisdom, especially because he has had 21+ years of law enforcement experience, a lifetime of pursuing faith, and a sucessful business career that I have not. So, I proposed that we trade books.  I am reading “Ted, White, and Blue” and he is reading / listening to Rob Bell and Don Golden’s “Jesus Wants to Save Christians: A Manifesto for the Church in Exile.”

I have found very good thoughts and points in both, and disagree sharply with some of both books.  Manifestos are statements of beliefs, so you can expect people to differ.  However, I want to highlight a great paragraph from “Ted, White, and Blue.”

God gave man a soul; a powerful, instinctual moral and intellectual True North compass that completely differenciates us from all other living creatures. Animals stomp, kill, and and eat each other, even thier own, in primal instinct to survive. Man has the power of reason, calculation, dreaming, and a thought process the choose to do good, not just for himself, but for the predictable benefit of family, fellow man, and the good earth. Respecting the the gift of life and the power of responsible choice, man can pursue happiness while being a positive force for all things When man seeks to benefit from wrong choices, at the expense of others and the environment, he has lost his soul. His misdeeds will eventually catch up with him.  (page 39 Chapter titled “If I Were Presdient”).

The political right and left should take a this paragraph and do an examination of conscience.  Ted won some respect points from me.

Anyway, please pray for the Spirit to be our teacher and guide as dad and I wade through these thoughful and incredibly nuanced books.

May the Lord’s will be done,

CWillZ

I decided to get an education on geography the best way possible – take an online quiz! 

I got a 53/75 the first time, and was able to get all but one country after the 3rd time.  It seems that Turkmenistan is a slippery little guy. I don’t mean to make fun of Turkmenistan-is, I am just pointing out how uneducated I am.

Anyway. I feel less than educated enough to vote for my next Commander In Chief in a few weeks and it worries me that most of my fellow Americans will probably do about as well as I did on this quiz.

Reply with your score.

May the Lord’s will be done,

CWillZ

The primaries and pre-primary debates were fun to watch because of the ideas and sense of togetherness that competetion within the same parties could bring. It was great to watch people sharpen themseles and share the distinctive ways they saw issues.  These were days where talking about politics had a general sense of “Yes, but [the issue is different/can be best addressed this way/is not that simple]“.

The past few weeks have turned from “yes, but…” to “no, and [some insult to the other party or candidate/you kicked your dog as a kid]“.  This is getting old.  I wanted these candidates because they are thinkers and moderates who I think will acutally represent the American people.

Arguing ad hominem over commercials is damaging.  I wish both Barack and John would become a little more “elitist” and not stoop so low to cut each other.  In my opinion, they are going to need each other over the next 4 years.

We are eagerly anticipating the time when we will have our own place, be married, and can be together. We were looking for a place to sit and talk with relative safety and privacy. Passing by a doorway of one of the buildings, she joked innocently that we could pretend to be homeless and just chill in the doorway.

Within the next ten steps we came across a small loading dock that indented into a building. It was the kind of place that would be a perfect shelter for someone who needed it. Perhaps it should not have surprised me to see a worn out mattress resting against the wall of the small area. Sobering.

Homelessness, like AIDs, is still not on the funny list. Yet. However, The Kingdom of God is changing all that. One day we will remember only vaguely what it meant to live with unrighteousness or injustice, and we will laugh freely in celebration of the completion of the work or redemption over both sin and death. Let us live towards that goal.

May the Lord’s will be done,

CWillZ

You can submit your own 6 word memoir, read others, and submit your own at http://www.smithmag.net/sixwords/

I submitted one:

“FS: College Degree take over payments.”

Yes, I know FS is shorthand for two words. Get over it.

Whether believe that healthcare should be left to unrestricted free market or if you are of the opinon that government should become increasingly involved (about 20% of healthcare costs are subsidized), the real cost of healthcare is this: we get sick. However, many if not most of the diseases that cost us the most are preventable.

Heart disease, diabetes, lung and mouth cancer, and high blood pressure are all very costly conditions that can be avoided by simply taking care of oneself. Its pretty simple really: eat healthy, don’t use tabacco, and get moderate exercise. Save yourself and everyone some green.

“Don’t get sick” is a wise plan reducing the costs of healthcare, and how those reduced costs are paid is another debate entirely. I’d rather pay the same or a little higher for my healthcare and allow for those 7 – 12% who don’t have insurance and couldn’t pay the bills if they did be taken care of too. I’m still hopefully for the private sector to get creative and make progress, but its hard not to be jaded.