Today I Asked God a Simple Question

This might be a disappointment to some of you, but the question I asked today was not about the future of America nor of out newly inaugurated President. I would like to give reason for the lack of blogging recently. My explanation for this behavior is simple: sometimes it is good to think out loud so that everyone can read it, and other times it is necessary to do one’s sorting in private or with close friends. Anyway, it is my blog, right?

Down to it. What I have been learning in a very real, very meaningful way over the last few months is that each and every moment of our lives is an opportunity for us to trust in the goodness of God. By “goodness of God” I mean that He loves us and I have no clue how. More on that the “goodness of God” means later (see C.S. Lewis’ “The Problem of Pain” Ch. 3 for more). What it means to trust in the goodness of God for me right now is this:

The next phase of my life will be spent teaching, pastoring, preaching, or learning how to do those things better in the following location: right where I am, the Czech Republic, China, Spain, any one of a smattering of communities new to me across the United States, seminary, or itinerant preaching. Also, don’t forget to account for variable change.

So today I was a little fried about trying to imagine what the next step may be. After requesting that my fellow staff members at church pray for wisdom and discernment, and then venting for about 20 minutes to a close friend, I finally came to the point where I took it to God in prayer. (this is backwards and frankly stupid, but real).

I have been learning to pray with child-like faith. Today that child was a little girl. With my face on the floor, a pouty lip and erratic kicking of the legs I asked God the question. “Where do you want me?”

If you have ever asked this question you may at first, like me, be proud of yourself for making yourself available to God. This is a good thing, but for me it contains some pride. Just because I am talented, available, and stunningly good looking doesn’t mean that God has to want me to do anything for him. Where did I get this entitlement from?

God’s answer, which I barely heard through my erupting case of LGS, was humbling and loving at the same time.

“Right here, in My arms.”

Please pray that my heart would be open, warm, and vulnerable enough with God to be able to be right where he wants me. However and whenever that may be.

May the Lord’s will be done,

CWillz